So, you finally did it, congratulations to you! No matter how it happened, you now don't have to put up with that no-good, troublesome, pain in the neck ex-boyfriend of yours. Yes! Finally, you are free! Free to do whatever you want. You have your life back, and bizarrely, you are likely to find yourself appreciating all types of things that you barely noticed before, which you now realize are way, way, way better than your ex ever was or could be! Enjoy your new found single-ness and of course, reading this hilarious post! It's sure to make you smile! Take a look!
Shoes. All Shoes!
Unlike him, shoes love to dance. And, they're also good at… walking away!
Your big bed.
Now you don't have to share it anymore. Enough said!
That little flower thing that waves in the sun!
This little guy is always cheerful and friendly, as well as perfectly inoffensive, everything your ex was not. Enjoy your solar powered flower. He may not be much, but he's better than your ex!
Wi-Fi.
Ok, so Wi-Fi can cut in and out, just like he did, yet other than that your internet connection is nothing like your awful ex. It lets you go and do whatever you like! Feel like shopping? Not a problem. Don't want to cook? It'll let you order pizza whenever you want. Appreciate it!
Your dryer!
Your ex had different standards of cleanliness when it came to what he wore. He wore things that were 'clean enough'. Well, now he's out of your life you'll have more time to get things properly clean, and that includes spending much more time with the most beloved of appliances, the dryer. Yes, it may sound weird but just think of the fresh smelling garments you can just bury yourself in, without his disgusting man-odor permeating the atmosphere. Heavenly!
Your treadmill.
This is a love/hate relationship built entirely on your terms! Your treadmill will take all your negative feelings and turns them into endorphins, which makes you happy. Awesome!
Food!
This may be stating the obvious but food is so much better than your no-good ex, it's not even funny. Eat whatever you want, when you want, and answer to no one!
Free samples at 'CostCo'.
No commitment. No expectations. The sample lady is always nice and she's right there where you can find her, ready to listen and give you free stuff.
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